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Elsa keeps to herself, almost to a fault.
For months after you move in together, she jumps at the slightest unusual sound. Sleeping, even in her own bed per her request, is nearly impossible. So, you suggest an iPod. Not used to the advantages of modern technology, she reluctantly defers to your judgement on the matter. Once you show her how it works, however, she falls in love all over again, with an inanimate object of all things. She hardly ever takes the earbuds out, and she spends some of her worst days curled up in a comfortable chair that’s close to an outlet so she doesn’t have to stop listening while it recharges.
You wonder what kinds of music she likes. You even ask her more than once, but she smiles shyly and shakes her head. “It’s personal.” she tells you. That hurts a little, but ever sensitive to someone else’s feelings, she makes it it up to you later.
On the second anniversary of the day you first met, Elsa surprises you in many different ways; not the least of which is the sight that greets you when you get home. She’s cleared a space in the front room all by herself, all the better to dance in, and you see a brand new docking station for the iPod on the center table (now wedged up against her chair.
You don’t know what you were expecting. Opera maybe? Classical? It’s hard to imagine her listening to anything more upbeat than the occasional jazz piece. When she hits the random button however, you’re more than a little surprised to hear Get Lucky by Daft Punk coming from the speakers. She blushes when she realizes what it’s playing, which is just about too adorable for you to handle.
Welcome to the reality of domestic violence. Unlike most Disney villains, batterers don’t come with their own foreboding soundtrack. They don’t sneer like Scar and Gaston, or twirl their mustaches like Jafar. They’re not openly slimy like Clayton.
They’re charming. They’ve learned how to don that mask, how to flatter and manipulate and say just the right thing. They look completely normal. They deliberately seek out victims they think they can control … and what better target than socially awkward, isolated, hopeful Anna?
It’s no coincidence that “Quick Involvement” is one of the potential characteristics of an abusive relationship. This does not mean everyone who had a whirlwind romance is in an abusive relationship, by the way. Only that this tends to be one aspect of such relationships. It’s one of many tactics and strategies batterers use.
I’ve been talking lately about the power and importance of story. Story is how we relate to and understand the world. Whatever else Disney did or didn’t do in Frozen, they provided a story to help understand how what starts out as a perfect relationship can turn into a nightmare. How someone like Hans can be so cruel behind closed doors, but play the perfect gentleman as soon as he sets foot in public.
Whatever else the movie did or didn’t get right, I’m grateful for that story.
"Elsa and I were really close when we were little but one day she just shut me out, and I never knew why."
I don’t know if a lot of people realise how terribly this line hurt Anna.
She had lived her whole life thinking that her sister didn’t want to see her. That she didn’t love her. Especially after her parents died, there was no one left to take care of her. To love her. But then she met this man that seemed to love everything about her. He seemed to be her true love. Maybe she was loved. Maybe someone did love her.
But he didn’t.
And now here she is. Her only friends gone back to the mountain, her sister far away not even wanting to see her, and her “true love” who has just revealed to her that she was a pawn all along.
We may not believe what Hans is saying here, but she does.
Who in the world could love her now?
if you’ve been having a bad day
here’s a hedgehog with a strawberry on its head
even if you haven’t been having a bad day
here’s something to make your day better
EVERYBODY LOOK ITS V IMPORTANT!! It totally just popped up on my dash! Ha!